[Video of Dr. Glaucomflecken as the Therapist reading off a list of grievances to the General Surgeon]
Therapist:
You sent the circulating nurse on a wild goose chase in search of a “seven French Flingenlooper…”
Doctor Rich:
Welcome back to the Doctor Rich channel! Today, we have nurse practitioner student Iliana Ye.
Iliana:
Hi! Thank you for having me.
Doctor Rich:
And we’re gonna watch and react to OR videos by Dr. Glaucomflecken (AKA Dr. Will Flannery).
Don’t have time to read this post? Watch the video here instead!
Doctor Rich:
And now, “The General Surgeon goes to therapy.”
[in the video, the Therapist and the General Surgeon stare at each other]
Therapist:
Do you know why you’re here today?
General Surgeon:
Yeah, I was told to come here to receive my world’s greatest surgeon award… but instead I’m receiving therapy.
Therapist:
HR-MANDATED therapy.
General Surgeon:
That’s ridiculous. I didn’t do anything wrong!
Therapist:
Here’s a list of things that you’ve done in the last two weeks alone! [reads off grievances] “Forced the anesthesiologist to scratch your nose because — and I quote — “…the patient’s life depends on it.”
General Surgeon [incredulously]:
You can’t operate with an itchy nose!
Doctor Rich [laughing and agreeing with the Surgeon]:
You can’t! You can’t operate with an itchy nose. [to Iliana] Have you ever scratched an itchy nose?
Iliana [laughing]:
Yes. Backs… noses…
Doctor Rich:
It’s true! It’s true.
Cameraman [offscreen]:
How do you do it? Is there like… a technique?
Doctor Rich [to Iliana]:
Just, like, show me.
[Doctor Rich sticks his nose out and Iliana scratches it. They both laugh.]
Doctor Rich:
He was expecting to get his “World’s Greatest Surgeon” award (because that’s always the expectation anytime you go anywhere) — and yet he has to get therapy!
Therapist:
You sent the circulating nurse on a wild goose chase in search of a “seven French Flingenlooper” — an instrument that by all accounts does not exist…
General Surgeon:
Oh, come on. That was —
Therapist:
…and you attempted to demote a fourth-year med student back to first year because he didn’t know the name of the keyboard player for Pink Floyd.
General Surgeon:
That was a joke!
Therapist:
You called the student’s parents to inform them!
General Surgeon:
Okay… Maybe I took it too far.
Doctor Rich:
Um, yeah… so I, I must admit, I’ve asked for a Flingenlooper — but that was just a joke just to mess with the new scrub tech. And we didn’t send him on a wild goose chase.
Cameraman [offscreen, to Iliana]:
Have you heard any stories, like from others, as you’re getting into the field?
Iliana:
Yeah, I mean… the actual names and stuff… We’re like, “What are they talking about?!”
Doctor Rich:
Well because it’s true! Because a lot of these instruments are named after doctor’s names…
Iliana:
Uh huh.
Doctor Rich:
You know, we’ve talked about (and there’s a video about) Trendelenburg — which is a bed position. So there are a lot of names that somebody could easily make believable. My favorite is, “I need a size seven Hasselhoff,” and then they go for, you know, “Hasselhoff!”
[still shot of actor David Hasselhoff from his Baywatch days appears on screen]
Therapist:
Surgery, you have an anger problem. And I want to start with some exposure therapy.
General Surgeon:
Fine, but hurry up — I’ve never been in a non-OR this long!
Doctor Rich:
So what does every surgeon want?
Iliana:
To be in the OR!
Doctor Rich:
More block time! There was a saying, “You never eat when you can sleep — and you never sleep when you can operate!” So you know, it sounds crazy (and I guess it’s a good thing) — you want the person that’s operating on your body to love what they do!
Therapist:
I’m going to show you a picture… [holds up a photo of Anesthesia, and the Surgeon winces in disgust] Do you know who this person is?
General Surgeon [annoyed]:
It’s Anesthesia.
Therapist:
No, it’s Mark. He has a name!
Doctor Rich:
Iliana — did I just not say that we have to make sure that we know everybody’s name?
Iliana [laughing]:
Right?
Doctor Rich:
So this is what you go to therapy for — you gotta know everybody’s name!
General Surgeon:
They’re always taking breaks! How am I supposed to learn their names?!
Therapist [sarcastically]:
Oh, that’s interesting that you have trouble remembering names because just last week you were quoted as saying, ”I have the largest brain in medicine.”
General Surgeon [annoyed and matter-of-factly]:
Yeah — everyone knows that!
Doctor Rich [pointing at Iliana to get an answer]:
So who has the largest brain in medicine?
Iliana:
Dr. Rich?
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
Oh no, no, no. I’m just a dumb surgeon, But, but I think it’s probably a tie between neurology and nephrology. So these — well, I would say “esoteric” — but these subspecialties of medicine where it’s just such a narrow focus on one organ of the body, and they know like an entire encyclopedia of everything you could possibly have to know about the kidney. Or the brain. [Iliana laughs] Probably the brain surgeon. Or not the brain surgeon, the neurologist.
Therapist [exasperated, rubbing his temples]:
Okay. I think that’s enough for today.
General Surgeon [optimistically]:
Hey, I think we’ve made some good progress!
Therapist:
No… No, we didn’t.
Doctor Rich:
So I think communication is extremely important. A lot of times the surgeon, you know, thinks maybe they handled something well and maybe they thought they were giving somebody a compliment. But then the other person is sad and broken because it didn’t feel like it was a compliment.
Cameraman [offscreen]:
True story?
Doctor Rich [laughing in fake denial]:
No…
But I think in the OR (and in the clinic too) we want to make sure it’s like, “Go see room seven.” And you’re like, “Oh, I thought you said room eight,” or whatever.
So we have a process called read back (based on the military) where you identify the person you’re talking to, you ask them for something — like, “Alyssa, I want a 10 blade scalpel.” And then they respond, “10 blade scalpel, sir!” And then you say, “Thank you, Alyssa.” And so that way there’s no doubt. Like I am a hundred percent certain that she understands exactly what I need, and she is now informed that I heard what she said. So everybody’s on the same page — which can seem a little bit cumbersome or onerous at times. You might think, “Why do I have to do that?” Trust me, it makes the OR process so much smoother the closer we adhere to that.
[To Iliana] So how is “the easygoing surgeon?”
Iliana:
Well, I mean, there are a lot of expectations for learning the OR (and circulating in the OR) — so it’s pretty intimidating. I feel that there’s an expectation to kind of learn everything quickly. And when you’re working with different surgeons, you have to think about what their preferences are, which instruments they use, what procedures they do, how they do each procedure. So it’s overwhelming.
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
By preferences, what the surgeon would say is “the right way.”
Well that’s what we have for today. I want to thank everybody for joining us. Iliana…
Iliana [typing on her phone]:
I just subscribed!
Doctor Rich
Oh, you did? To the Dr. Rich channel?
Iliana:
No… to Dr. Glaucomflecken!
Doctor Rich [rolling his eyes in mock exasperation]:
Oh my God… [Doctor Rich gets up and leaves while Iliana laughs]
