Welcome back to the Doctor Rich channel. You’ve seen me do product reviews before — but you’ve never seen me review the “Anesthesia Lie Detector.” Check this out!
Don’t have time to read this post? Watch the video here instead!
[Video opens with Doctor Rich introducing himself to the anesthesiologist in the operating room. Anesthesiologist is wearing a T-shirt with the words “I Like People (under general anesthesia).”]
Doctor Rich (Frustrated Gynecologist):
Uh, good morning. I’m Dr. Rich.
Anesthesia Bro:
What’s up, bud? I’m Trevor. Anything you need — I got you! I’m anesthesia today!
[Video cuts to Doctor Rich dressed like an English gentleman, with a British accent and a fake pipe in hand. Orchestral string music plays in the background.]
Guv’na Rich:
Surgeons — have you ever found yourself in this familiar situation where you’ve requested maximum Trendelenburg position? Anesthesia proclaims compliance, but you just can’t be certain if they’re telling the truth…
| *Trendelenburg position: Refers to the head-down 15-30 degree incline tilt of the surgical table that is required for many pelvic surgeries.* |
[Video returns to the operating room]
Doctor Rich:
Well, in that case… I need head down, maximum Trendelenberg position so I can start this case — stat!
Anesthesia Bro:
Righteous, bruh! Coming right up! [adjusts the bed position a *tiny* bit with a controller]
Doctor Rich:
Seriously?! I NEED Trendelenburg to get the bowel out the pelvis so I can operate. Give me… give me the max!
Anesthesia Bro:
Ah, you should have said that the first time! Alright! Max-a-million! Max-a-dilla! Max Daddy? [looks up wryly]
Doctor Rich
Come on, man! A little bit of “T-berg” isn’t gonna compromise her ventilation! Give me max Trendelenberg!
Anesthesia Bro:
Alright, alright, alright! I’ll give you a little bit more. Max for steppin’… How about max overdrive? [chuckles disobediently]
Doctor Rich:
For the love of our Lord — just press the button and give me Trendelenburg!
Anesthesia Bro:
Alright, alright. You guys are always all the same: “Anesthesia, passing gases… hittin’ switches… grantin’ wishes.” There you go, Surgery Dude. [adjusts the bed tilt another miniscule amount]
[Doctor Rich throws this hands in the air in disbelief]
Doctor Rich:
The actual hell, Trevor?! Look at this! [takes out a protractor to measure the degree of incline]
This is, like, right here [points to a small angle on the protractor]. This is like… like two degrees of Trendelenburg! Are you a moron?! Just gimme max T-burg!
Anesthesia Bro:
No can do, amigo! Any more [whistles and tilts his hand down] and she’s gonna drop below a hundred percent oxygenation saturation. She keeps going [whistles and tilts his hand down further], and she’s gonna go [whistles with a declining pitch and indicates a flatline with his hand. Doctor Rich slaps his forehead in frustration].
Guv’na Rich:
Fear not, Noble Surgeon! Your days of guessing Trendelenburg are over! Introducing the Anesthesia Lie Detector! Bed control — complete with a digital readout that gives you the exact degree of bed tilt. [chuckles Britishly]
[scene in the operating room resumes]
Doctor Rich:
Oh, whoa, wait a minute! You mean I can just ask for a specific degree of Trendelenburg… and they had to give it to me?!
Give me 28 degrees, you yellow-bellied gas passer!
Anesthesia Bro [nervously]:
Uh… I totally gave you 28 degrees, Surgery Bruh.
You hear that sound, Surgery Guy? [looks at bare wrist] My three and a half minutes are up! Imma get some coffee.
[Anesthesia Bro Trevor leaves the room and returns suited in proper medical dress. Caption reads, “Ideal Anesthesiologist, according to surgeons”]
Ideal Anesthesiologist:
Good morning, your Highness. How may I serve you today?
Doctor Rich [sighing in relief]:
Oh, thank God, Trevor’s gone! Can I get 28 degrees Trendelenburg — PLEASE!
Ideal Anesthesiologist:
Anything for you, sir. [camera zooms in to Anesthesia Lie Detector readout as Anesthesiologist adjusts the bed tilt to 29%]
Doctor Rich [flabbergasted]:
He… he did it! He actually did it!
[cheering is heard in the background, while Ideal Anesthesiologist does a “mic drop” with the bed tilt controller on to the reclining patient]
Ideal Anesthesiologist:
I’m actually gonna need that… [peeks under the surgery drape] She’s okay… I think…
Guv’na Rich [with a coy smile]:
Never be afraid to ask for Trendelenburg again! With the Anesthesia Lie Detector, you get precision Trendelenburg — every time!
Doctor Rich [holding a surgical instrument]:
Oh, dude! Wait… I don’t even need Trendelenburg — this is just a bartholin cyst!
Ideal Anesthesiologist [angrily breaking character]:
Are you serious?! Son of a *!$%#! You broke sterile field! [throws his surgery cap across the drape on to the patient]
[grabbing the surgical instrument] Matter of fact… you don’t need that either!
[End parody scene]
Doctor Rich:
Well, I hope you enjoyed our *slightly* educational and highly entertaining product review of the Trumpf Anesthesia Lie Detector. Please subscribe for more entertaining content!
