[Doctor Rich in the studio, after multiple takes.]
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
This is gonna be #@$*&^! brutal for you to edit, dude. I’m sorry!
Three, two, one, and three, two, one. And what about — [bursts out laughing and keels over]
I’m in the fetal position!
Don’t have time to read this post? Watch the video here instead!
Doctor Rich:
…to get all of those questions answered. Talk about sexual activity, sexual preferences… what you found in your mom’s underwear drawer… [starts laughing] Don’t talk about that!
[clip from “SpongeBob’s” Patrick warning Mr. Krabs that he’s going to miss the “panty raid”]
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
Bust it out! Bust it out. [Tapping his watch] Get the time — get out the timer! Enough #$%8@!# around!
Cameraman [offscreen]:
Is this getting a little too technical?
Doctor Rich [grimacing]:
Yeah…*&%$.
This is really your chance to… [in a singsong voice] Get schwifty! Pickle Rick!
…candies and sugar. Seven days of the week to start, and we’re gonna continue to make progress. [To cameraman] Did I say seven days of the week?
Cameraman [affirmatively]:
Mm-hmm.
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
What the &*$!… [sarcastically] In your eight-day week…
[laughing, quoting his son]
“Dad, my friends say you say “vagina” a lot…”
The American College of OB/GYN recently [coughs]… coughed on me!
The average range is between one and seven centimeters for the vaginal opening.
Ruben [producer, offscreen]:
So contrary to what OnlyFans tries to make you believe? Now it’s gonna seem like I’m on OnlyFans…
Doctor Rich:
It does seem like that.
Ruben:
Jonathan, for the record —
Doctor Rich [laughing, anticipating Ruben’s statement]:
I’m not on OnlyFans?
Ruben:
I’m NOT on OnlyFans. I only know about OnlyFans the same way I know about Tinder — which I have also never been on. Just things you hear…
Doctor Rich [laughing]:
Word of mouth!
Doctor Rich:
I’m using a lot of fancy words! I’m using my fancy word dictionary!
Doctor Rich:
Robotic surgery is an important tool for… [trips up on his words] Ergh! *&^!
Three, two, one…
[whispering to himself] “Endometriosis!” Just say it!
Another infection — a bacterial infection this time — also causes painful… $%^&-burgers. Three, two…
Doctor Rich [laughing and shaking his finger at the cameraman]:
Jonathan, I noticed you were very interested about this line of questioning…
[Making the “peace out” hand sign] Mic drop, @#$%*! We out!
I took a flight to Orlando… [begins laughing because he said “Orlando” in a funny way]
[in a pretentious accent] Or-land-o.
I think there are way more elements and attributes of attraction that men will put ahead of height… [long pause] like t***ies.
8. Physicians React to Dr. Ken Jeong
Doctor Rich:
…blood flow and, um, *^%$ like that…
[A police siren blares outside] Here come the po-po!
Tea has anti-inflappatory… [catches himself and begins laughing] It’s FLAP-atory! Clap-atory!
9. 5 things to know before your gynecology exam
In all seriousness… f#$%… I can’t say that word!
[Tries again] In all serios-less…
And on your way, make sure to run into that subscribe button…*&#$%.
7. Top 3 Unusual Forms of Endometriosis | PART 2
Welcome back to the Doctor Rich channel! A few months back, we published a video called… [the cooling system turns on loudly] the air conditioning is on!
[Take 2] A few months back, we… [a door closes loudly offscreen] closed the door on people…
[Take 3] Welcome back to the Doctor Rich channel! [Someone offscreen opens a can of soda] That’s it. That’s it. He’s sipping on his drink like a *&^% — I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here…
[Take 4] Three, two, one… What am I supposed to say?
…can actually be felt within the scar and causes painful… [emphatically] POOPS!
…and causes painful… pain! [laughs]
[pretending to juggle and humming a circus melody]
Ruben [offscreen]:
Can you juggle?
Doctor Rich:
Juggle these &^%$#…
But don’t worry, guys — there’s only ever been a few case reports in men, so that’s NOT the reason you’re a giant *&^^%.
We’ll leave that there… We’ll just leave that there… Ummm….
[Words appear on a black screen reading “Camera was not recording, but the mic was on…”]
[Ice cream truck music plays from outside… at 8pm]
Ruben [laughing]:
It’s dark outside!
Doctor Rich:
Seriously! It’s like… how is this NOT It [the monster clown], you know?! It’s like a f*&#@# clown in a gutter!
Bizznatch!
8. Vaginal removal surgery: Will it look weird?
Are those donuts? Is that those numbnuts over there?
Although incontinence is MORE common in… yo mama!
Make sure to hit the “subscribe” button for more great s&*T.
[In a singsong voice] In the can, B*#$%#@!
